One of the statistics that has always amazed me is that half of all couples filing for divorce list financial problems as the leading cause of their marriage trouble. From my own experience as a pastor and marriage counselor, I've seen marriage after marriage fail because financial pressures and difficulties turned into more than a husband and wife could handle.
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Money has a powerful influence on your marriage, and that's why it's important for both husbands and wives to treat it carefully. This is especially true for husbands. Why? Because even today, in most marriages, the husband is the primary bread-winner. This is why one of the most important areas of security a wife desires from her husband is in the realm of finances.
Even when a woman works outside the home - in addition to her husband - I've found that wives desire the assurance that they will be provided for financially. What does this mean for a husband? It means he needs to communicate that he understands his wife's need for financial security. There are four ways he can do this:
- By praying for God's blessing and direction. A woman wants to know her husband is praying and seeking God for financial direction and provision. Should financial struggles ever arrive, a wife will be tremendously comforted when her husbands leads her in prayer about this. The old saying is true: "The family who prays together stays together."
- By being a hard and faithful worker. A wife needs to know her husband is honest, faithful and hard-working. When a man is dishonest, lazy, or changes jobs too often, he violates his wife and makes her insecure. Even if it means foregoing some income or benefits, a husband needs to be careful not to sacrifice his wife's security. This is very important.
- On the other hand, a husband also needs to seek the best employment possible. Yes, it's important for every family to understand that God is our ultimate provider. But that's not a license for a man to take a lackadaisical approach to his career. A good husband is one who seeks opportunities and is ready - with prayer and good communication with his spouse - to walk through the doors God opens for him.
- By being a wise money manager. A husband can have the best job in the world and a high salary, but if he can't handle his finances none of that matters. A wife feels secure when her husband is a diligent steward of God's money. This isn't a license to be stingy or unreasonably tight-fisted. Instead, it's an opportunity for wise money management. I'm of the opinion that a husband should take responsibility for managing the money and paying the bills - but he must do so humbly and carefully.
Handling money in your marriage will always be challenging. But take these suggestions seriously and you'll make great strides in overcoming the dangers of finances in marriage.
