1. Thou shalt love thy wife and commit thyself to her for a lifetime of
oneness in marriage - divine and indivisible. Thou shalt make of thy
marriage
an exclusive relationship so that thy wife shall never have occasion to
doubt
thy love nor occasion for jealousy or lack of trust. As the scriptures
say, "Husbands love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave
himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:25); "What therefore God hath joined
together, let
not man put asunder" (Mark 10:9); "Cleave unto thy wife" (Genesis
2:24).
2. Thou shalt seek to understand thy wife. Thou shalt not be able to
understand her, but thou shalt make a lifetime effort to do so. As the
scriptures say, "Husbands, dwell with your wives according to
knowledge" (1 Peter 3:7).
3. Thou shalt talk to thy wife when thou comest home from thy work,
when
thou sittest in thine house, when thou liest down, and when thou risest
up.
Thou shalt at times turn off the television to assure thy wife she is
more
cherished than your favorite program, for communication is an
expression
of love. As the scriptures say, "Live a life of love" (Ephesians 5:2).
4. Thou shalt not talk down to thy wife nor use sarcasm or
ridicule. Thou shalt not belittle her, for her sense of self-worth is
much dependent on
your appreciation and encouragement of her. As the scriptures say,
"Love
is kind" (1 Corinthians 13:4), and again, "Do everything without
complaining
or arguing" (Philippians 2:14), and again, "In honor prefer one
another"
(Romans 12:10).
5. Thou shalt listen to thy wife, asking for her advice and opinions,
and recognizing her mental abilities and talents, as Abraham asked and
followed Sarah's advice. As the scriptures say, "Love is not proud or
rude" (1 Corinthians
13:4-5.)
6. Thou shalt not lord it over thy wife, recognizing that the two of
you
are equal before God and that leadership in the home does not mean
dictatorship. Neither does it mean being waited on nor having the best
piece of chicken.
Leadership means moral, financial, and spiritual responsibilities.
Headship
in the home also means sacrifice and service. As the scriptures say,
"Submit yourselves one to another out of reverence for Christ"
(Ephesians5:2), and "Husbands, do not be harsh with them"
(Colossians
3:19). Thou shalt not abdicate thy leadership role because of apathy or
indifference,
for love cares and bears all things.
7. Thou shalt see that thy wife is thy best friend. The
closest of all
human relationships is marriage and it should know joyous comradeship,
with laughter and good humor. Thou shalt share affection and
confidences with
thy wife and long to be in her presence. As the scriptures say, "Live
joyfully with thy wife whom thou lovest" (Ecclesiastes 9:9).
8. Thou shalt help thy wife in all those ways that sacrificial love
would
help, giving her of thy time, money, attention, affection (yea, even
washing
the dishes as needed), remembering that the scriptures say, "Bear ye
one another's
burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2).
9. Thou shalt accept thy wife as she is. Thou shalt not expect
perfection.
Thou shalt forgive her of her mistakes and confess thine own to her,
remembering that "love covereth all sins" (Prov.10:12). "Forgive each other as God in Christ
has forgiven
you" (Ephesian 4:32).
10. Thou shalt practice tenderness as the essential emotion, realizing
that
sex is a gift of God which expresses and enhances love. Sex is giving
joy
as well as receiving it. Thou shalt consider that nothing can erode the
sexual
union more than selfishness. Remember the scriptures say, "The
husband's
body does not belong to him alone, but also to his wife" (1 Corinthians
7:4);
"Husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies" (Ephesians5:28); "As ye would that (she) should do unto you
do ye even so unto (her)” (Matthew7:12).
11. Thou shalt in some way each day show thy wife that "I need you,”
that “I appreciate you,” and that "I want to help you." So shalt thy
marriage
become a strong and blest tie that binds two hearts in Christian love.
12. And should thy marriage become trying and seemingly an endurance
contest, thou shalt not give up. Thou shalt "bear all things, believe
all things, hope
all things, endure all things" (1
Corinthians
13:7). Thou shalt trust thy God who is love and who is the God of the
resurrection
to rekindle and renew thy love. Thou shalt treat thy wife as thou didst
when
love was new. And having done all, thou shalt "suffer long" and "cast
thy
burdens on the Lord" knowing that he careth for thee and thy mate (1
Peter
5:7).
